Stuff I Like

Possibly Tim Burton’s best movie was his first box office hit, Pee-wee’s Big Adventure. After watching this movie you’ll understand why. At no point in time do you get the idea that Burton was sneaking around in the background saying things like, “We need to edit this script. It needs to be more edgy… It needs to be more weeeeird… It needs to be darker, jsut like me.” In fact, I think Burton kept his predictable dead obsessed mitts of the majority of the script because he had actually met someone darker, edgier and weirder than he could ever hope to be: Paul Reubens.

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First things first: This is possibly the worst DVD cover of all time. Val Kilmer looks like a gay man with a goider on the side of his head. Rest assured that at no time during the movie does Kilmer actually look like this. Oddly enough, one of the protagonists in the movie, Mitch Taylor spends virtually the whole movie wearing a Dickey. This would make it one of the great Dickey movies up there with Animal House where the character Chip Diller also prominently features wearing Dickeys.

This movie is hard to take since we are forced to believe that Kilmer is a slovenly genius comedian out to save the world. I guess you would have to say that Kilmer is a blilliant actor since this plays completely counter to his image in real life.

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If you watch this movie, you better like Meg Ryan because this movie stars Meg Ryan, Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, Dan Hedaya and Meg Ryan.

Obviously filmed with my boss writing the dialog: “But can he do the job. I know he can get the job but can he DO the job? I’m NOT arguing that with you. I’m not arguing that with YOU. I’m not ARGUING that with you. I’m not ARGUING that with you Harry! Harry… Harry… Yeah Harry… but can he DO the job. I know he can GET the job but can he do the job?”

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You might believe this is a movie about two middle-aged gay men who run a drag club and live a fabulous, but slightly bitchy life. You would be wrong. What this is really about is their butt-baby son played by Dan Futterman who desperately needs to be bitch-slapped across South Beach Miami for being a pouting self-centered homophobic passive aggressive. Everytime Futterman’s smirky face shows up on the screen, I just want to punch him.

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Can you make a movie based on a big cock? You bet you can. Boogie Nights does all that and more. If you can possibly imagine a movie that’s about dance clubs of the 1970’s, a loose biography on John Holmes, the change of porn from film to tape, drugs, homosexuality… basically anything but sex, this is the movie for you. Did I mention there was a big cock too? Oh yeah, I did.

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Never considered one of Richard Dreyfuss’ better movies, I find myself coming back to it and watching it time and again. It’s a movie about a loser, Dreyfuss, who has an amazing change of luck one day. It has some of my favorite one liners in it like, “You know what they say, nothing ventured, nothing ventured”, “the is a horse race, not the Olympics”, “He’s got all sorts of balls …and one of his is crystal”, etc etc etc. Make sure you pay special attention to Jennifer Tilly who stars as a pair of tits and legs.

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What’s not to like about this movie? John Waters, Kathleen Turner, Serial Killers, Soccer Moms… This is a nice entry level John Waters movie that gives you a taste for his dementia and dark messages about suburbia but doesn’t go so far that you get the feeling you are watching an art house film in a public restroom.

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